When I was young my mother told me repeatedly, “Don’t get a woman pregnant!”
This negative injunction played heavily in my early sexual relationships. My mother’s fear came from regret of falling pregnant to my father and her father who abused her. This repeated ‘negative tape’ gave me what many men suffer from – “Premature Ejaculation.” Also what accompanied this was an added inability to maintain an erection.
First Tip: Go back to early negative programming around sex, if you want successful mutually pleasurable sex.
Second Tip: Learn easy to remember positive affirmations that dissolve negative beliefs coming from your subconscious mind. For example: “It is safe to be inside a woman.” (or Man, if gay).
Or for a woman who was told many negative things, or even raped in childhood:
“I now attract men or women who treat me well, especially around giving and receiving sexual pleasure.”
If addicted to porn, see a sexual therapist and learn to be honest about how it affects your relationships.
Third Tip: Get rid of all your old negative thoughts about sex being dirty, dangerous, anti-religious and forbidden.
Fourth Tip: Write down all your negative beliefs and turn them into positive affirmations.
Example: ‘I am too old for sex!’
Becomes: ‘I am the perfect age to give and receive sexual pleasure. I know what turns me on and tell my partner with confidence.’
Fifth Tip: Sexual techniques will come naturally once you dissolve fear. Don’t get hung up on technique.
Sixth Tip: Read good books like ‘Loving Relationships’ by Sondra Ray and Louise Hay’s ‘You Can heal your life’. Michelle Pauli ‘Spiritual Sex.’ Mantak Chia. ‘The Multiple orgasmic Couple’ and ‘Healing Love through the Tao.’
Seventh Tip: Learn to breath deeply and enjoy orgasms within the body – without ejaculation, for men.
Eighth Tip: This may seem obvious, however, don’t have a list of jobs you have to do while having sex. Focus your energy on giving pleasure and receiving.
Ninth Tip: Ask for what you like. Two minds focused on each other create such good sexual energy.
Tenth Tip: Communicate in silence or find fantasies that give you mutual pleasure.
My love Roger